So I decided around the beginning of March 2020, that I was not going to participate in a lack scarcity paradigm anymore.

What is a lack scarcity paradigm you ask? Basically the world we live in. The world we have collectively created through our collective consciousness (or unconsciousness.) It is a world where we always fear we can never have enough, can never get enough, can never be enough…something is always lacking…and we are encouraged to chase it.

When we do that, we are participating in a lack/scarcity paradigm. Make no mistake we are actively participating. But what if you don’t want to? What if you are like Uncle! What if you think to yourself: I just cannot do this anymore!

According to spiritual teachers like Eckhart Tolle, this is called surrender.

It took me awhile. But I am at that point. I surrender. I am not participating in any more lack/scarcity paradigms because I find them utterly exhausting and depleting energy wise.

So what I am doing? I am consciously cultivating a consciousness of abundance. Yeah…let’s make that a thing! Cham! Shortly after I made that decision, I got invited to an abundance group, “21 Days of Abundance.”

I said to myself, how synchronicitous! So I joined.

The Meditation – Being, Thinking, Feeling

In this group, we listen to a Deepak Chopra meditation every day, on YouTube. (Which is tricky, cause You Tube just loves to take stuff like this down, every chance it gets. If you come across this at a much later date, the mediation that I’m about to post below may not be here.)

So with these meditations, what you do, (it’s really easy) is you take the mantra Chopra provides:

Today I behold the abundance around me.

And you focus on that mantra for about 10 minutes. There is a lesson in this. This lesson is about attention. A lot of spiritual teachers focus on the idea of attention. Whatever you pay attention to will increase, (all the law of attraction folk insist). If that is true, you absolutely don’t want to pay any attention to lack. The thought Today I behold the abundance around me is a command to yourself. It is a command that you pay attention to abundance so that the abundance in your life will increase.

What exactly is meditating? Now…a a lot of people freak out about meditating…they don’t want to do it wrong…they want to get it right. They don’t understand the purpose of it. Be quiet and just sit there? What the hell for? (Not gonna lie, I’ve asked these questions.) What if they can’t stop thinking negative thoughts! (Not gonna lie, I’ve had these problems.) Oh no! Down the rabbit hole we go.

Just stop. Okay, don’t do that. Whatever you do for 10 minutes, is fine.

Do not stress the meditation.

Meditation is an experience and experiment with consciousness. Well, what is consciousness? Consciousness is hard to describe…the simplest way I can explain it is being aware that you are alive. We know that we are alive when we think and feel, and use our five senses and our mind to process the world. We know that we are alive when we are doing things.

But the most basic and most important state of consciousness is at our level of being. We must simply be…and we should be comfortable in our being, (not thinking, not feeling, not doing). Everything expands out from the internal peacefulness of being. The goal of most meditation is to get to that state of just being. It is a powerful state from which to expand one’s consciousness.

Mindfulness is a way to easily get (I find) to that state of being. Mindfulness is about being very conscientious with what you do with your mind. In mindfulness meditation, you use your mind to be present. Being present is just an experience that the present moment has to offer the five senses.

And, for the love of God, try not to think of anything too unpleasant. Try not to think of anything that will take you out of the present moment. This is the opposite of mindfulness. Mindfulness is being mindful of living in the moment.

For the Chopra meditation, you are directed to close your eyes and lay down, so you have to focus primarily on that which you can hear (he does a really nice hearing experience with bells and nature sounds) and touch. Those two senses are enough for a very pleasant experience. You want this to be a pleasant experience. Be mindful of how pleasant the experience.

And so, after getting comfortable, breathing deeply and relaxing, make a promise to yourself that for 10 minutes you will percolate the idea that abundance is all around you.

When you do this, you are taking your consciousness off the hamster wheel and out of the rat race that is the lack-scarcity paradigm. If you can’t leave this paradigm forever, you can at least leave it for 10 minutes!

If you are new to meditation/mindfulness, this will not be easy. When we are caught up in a scarcity/lack paradigm we often find this very difficult to do. But pay attention. Pay attention. Pay close attention to how you are spending your mental energy (your thoughts, your feelings). Attention is money. This is the real commerce…not the fake commerce we have all been duped into participating in the lack/scarcity paradigm.

In an abundance paradigm (which we are creating), you pay with the energy of your mind, just like you pay with the dollars of your wallet. Whenever you are expending mental energy in a way that feels bad (and thinking about the lack scarcity paradigm will generally make you feel bad), you are adding to the lack scarcity paradigm. You are essentially paying for it to continue. (It sucks when you think about it like that, doesn’t it?) We don’t want to do that. The lack scarcity paradigm has more than enough energy. We want to send all of our positive love light energy to an abundance paradigm. That is what we want to spend our energy money on.

It might help to think of an abundance paradigm as an actual place where we can go to…a mall, where money is absolutely forbidden! Your money is worthless at the abundance mall! Instead you pay with your energy. Do you want to buy a vacation to a warm sandy beach, where you are certain to have a very relaxing and wonderful time, with your best friends? Send love and light energy, (from your heart chakra) to that desire – and bam! You have just payed for your vacation. Sound too easy? What can I say? That’s how we roll in the abundance paradigm!

In order to get there, though, we have to develop abundance consciousness. Meditating on abundance thoughts helps to create that consciousness. After we do our meditating (being, feeling and thinking), we move on to some doing, through tasks we participate in.

They don’t call it a “practice” for nothing.

When we binge on Netflix or scroll through Instagram, time flies. One episode of Glow and two grumpy cat videos later and, poof, an hour has passed. So why did 20 minutes feel like an eternity during meditation? Sitting still sounds simple enough. (All I have to do is nothing? I got this!) But as soon as you tell yourself to sit still, the urge to move is relentless. Facts: Every itch magnifies, every tiny muscle in your foot cramps, every thought consumes you. For the first week, I was a crappy sitter, and my frustration quickly turned into an inner critic. You suck at this. You can’t even sit still right! Then I heard Oprah’s steady, celestial voice reassure me: Keep going. It takes practice.

And I had an Oprah “aha” moment: So that’s why they call meditation a practice. And luckily, according to the wise Ms. Winfrey, “every day brings a chance to start over.” So that’s what I did. I just kept at it. Somewhere around day 10, my body and brain began to chill out. My mind still wandered and my foot still cramped, but I accepted it. I didn’t need to be the perfect meditating goddess. I wasn’t going to levitate on my first try (I’m joking, but you get my drift) and that’s okay as long as I showed up. (Related: I Meditated Every Day for a Month and Only Sobbed Once)

It’s okay to go with the flow.

Ask anyone who knows me. I’m not a go-with-the-flow type. I’m a rower, paddling away at top speed, which is why meditation kicked my ass. Each day, I always feel the need to do, to act, to exert maximum effort. And with every action, I attach a certain set of expectations. If I train really hard, I can beat my best time. If I stop cyber-ogling Nico Tortorella, I’ll have more hours to write. Insert any combo of possibilities here. But in meditation, as is in life, what you expect isn’t always what you get. When I began the challenge, I expected to control my mind, and I was disappointed when my brain wouldn’t cooperate. I just need to try harder, I told myself. Focus more. Concentrate. You. Must. Succeed. But the more I demanded from myself, the less smoothly things went. I couldn’t outwork my way out of this one. (Related: How Ditching My Running Training Plan Helped Me Rein In My Type-A Personality)

Perhaps out of mere mental exhaustion, I hit a breaking point. I didn’t have the energy to keep fighting, so I let go. I allowed thoughts, sensations, and feelings to arise without berating myself for mind-straying. I simply noticed them like, hi, I see you there, and they miraculously drifted away, so I could get back to the business of clear-mindedness. Oprah says, “surrendering to the flow, staying flexible along your path, will lead you inevitably to the richest, highest expression of yourself.” Goddess translation: Let go of expectations and be open to whatever happens. Detach yourself from the outcome. Allow each experience-meditation or otherwise-to surprise you. By the end of the challenge, I had eased up on rowing and had begun to float with the current.

Mantras really can be super powerful.

TBH, I always thought mantras were a little kooky. They’re either the butt of endless GIFs or become a slideshow in your friend’s post-breakup social media rant, ahem, Instagram feed. Needless to say, at the start of the challenge I had my doubts about chanting each day’s mantra, even silently to myself. But, since I had committed, I decided to go all in. What I noticed right away was how repeating a mantra helped refocus my attention when I got distracted by thoughts or noises; adrift in an ocean of my meandering mind, I would remember the daily mantra, and it would steer me back on course. The simple act of saying a mantra anchors you in the present moment. What I didn’t expect? How I began to use self-made mantras outside of meditation, especially during my workouts. My go-to mantra for HIIT is you’re a beast. And, believe it or not, whenever I start to lose steam, the mantra pumps me up, infusing me with the energy I need to power through the burn. So, the moral of the mantra? They don’t need to be fancy or profound, just words that motivate, inspire, and focus you. (FYI, if you’re struggling to find your zen, mala beads and mantras could be the key to finally loving meditation.)

There’s strength in numbers.

Meditating alone, especially as a beginner, can be a little lonely and overwhelming. You wonder: Am I doing this right? Does anyone else feel lost? At times, you’re drifting solo on a vast sea of blackness with no land or light insight, and it’s hard to find your way home. During this three-week experience, Oprah and Deepak were my lifeboats and compass-their gentle, soothing voices in my earbuds always guiding and uplifting me. And even in the silences, there was a comfort knowing that thousands (maybe even millions) of people were meditating with me on this journey. I began to feel like maybe I was a part of something larger than myself-a global community striving toward greater self-awareness. In fact, Deepak says that helping the collective consciousness expand is our highest role in life. Just think: If everyone you know steadied their minds and radiated positive vibes, the world would be a way calmer, more loving place. We can change the planet one deep cleansing breath at a time, people! (Related: Joining an Online Support Group Could Help You Finally Meet Your Goals)

Worrying is wasted time.

This just might be the most important lesson I learned during the challenge. I know myself pretty well-I’m a worrywart, always have been. What I didn’t know was how much time I spend actively worrying until I began meditating. Within a span of 30 seconds, my mind constantly leapfrogs from one fear to the next: Did I unplug the iron before I left this morning? Am I going to be late for my appointment? Is my best friend upset because I’ve been too busy to call her back? Will I ever get my dream job? Will I ever measure up? By my estimation, I devote at least 90 percent of my headspace to worrying, a stream of incessant and compulsive thinking. It’s exhausting. But the annoying voice in my head never tires of feeding me anxious thoughts. It talks, nags, and complains, 24/7.

Since I can’t put a muzzle on it, what can I do? By sitting still, I learned to distance myself from it, to step back and observe it. And, in detaching myself, I realized that this prophet of doom and gloom isn’t who I really am-the voice is just fear and doubt. Of course, it’s okay to be afraid-we’re human, after all-but the worry doesn’t have to define me or you. Contemplate this question: Will worrying about something change the result? If I stress about my flight being delayed, will I get to my destination any faster? No! So let’s not waste our energy. (Related: 6 Ways to Finally Stop Complaining about Good)

Activity – Doing

The activities that Chopra has designed will engage you each day, in an abundance of consciousness in a number of different ways.

The task for Day 1, is to list 50 individuals, alive or dead, known or unknown, who have influenced your life in a positive manner. This is an easy way of reinforcing the lesson you have just participated in. You are paying attention to all of the abundances around you when you make a list of all of the people who have has a positive impact on your life